The baddest cat on the planet

.
April 1, 2014

It may have taken 50 years, but it was definitely worth the wait.

Jaguar have finally released their first two seater sports car, five decades after the iconic E Type, which went on to be voted as one of the most beautiful cars ever made. There was the temptation to keep the name plate, admittedly, but today’s Jaguar is all about looking forward, not back; so please rise as we welcome the new F-Type R coupe and push the start stop button to hear British sports car’s new national anthem.

Honestly, I’ve never heard anything quite like it in my life. The sound is so damn good, they could sell on iTunes. Heck, they can sell it to F1 teams and teach them a thing or two about exhaust notes. It is nothing like a Ferrari, Porsche, Pagani or AMG. This is throatier and meaner; a baritone with anger management issues. And it stays with you long after lock it up for the night.

Word has it that Jaguar actually had to install the exhaust silencer button because without one, it would be too loud to be allowed to take it on any track in England.  Seriously. Which is why they launched it in Barcelona.

The new Motorland track is about a 30 minute flight from Barcelona and sits about 122kms south of nowhere. Actually, this is where nowhere goes when it doesn’t want to be found. It is the latest Herman Tilke track, which he co-designed with the legendary test driver, Pedro De La Rosa, and it’s the perfect place to let the cat out of the bag, if you’ll pardon the pun.

A stunning 5.3 kms of perfectly cambered racetrack, featuring an incredible 1.7km straight that climaxes to a first gear hairpin, it has epic written all over it. In fact, it is so epic that Jaguar needed to use the optional chicane to shorten it, otherwise we would be hitting speeds that would legally require a boarding pass. Still, with 700 meters or so cut out of the straight, I still top out at 262 before I run out of road and stomp on those incredible new carbon ceramic brakes that give the exact same feel every single lap.

From there, I begin my first flying lap. I call up second, then third. I notice a once neatly tucked in boot lid rise up as I storm past 116km/h. It may seem like a gimmick, but it’s meant to generate up to 120kgs of downforce. It fills up half of my rear view mirror. I can distinctly see the Jaguar logo as well as the name flipped back to front, which is quite fitting actually, because this car is everything you knew about Jaguar, but in reverse.

I mean, let’s face it. Awesome as some of their products have been. Jaguars have always been something your dad buys. The new F-Type is the first of the new Jags that is set to turn that all around. The mere fact that they flew over 580 international journalists for this launch goes to show how serious they are. To put that into perspective, volume sellers like the C class and the 3 series would normally top out at 600. It is that important.

And it seems to be working. Since the launch of the F-Type convertible, sales are up 42% with new records being set for Jaguar in 17 markets. More importantly, 75% of F-Type convertible buyers are new to the brand––and Jag is eyeing up to 90% with the new coupe. Basically, we’re talking about a new breed of cat. And they’re not pussy-footing around.

It all starts with an imposing look that looks like it will literally pounce if you looked at it the wrong way. The designers were careful to not lose the gracefulness that Jaguars have always had, but only this time, they managed to give it some teeth. It carries that same silhouette of the E-Type, especially in the rear, but it speaks it’s own design language after that.

The entire rear three quarter panel is made up of just one single sheet of aluminium. It is an engineering feat that was achieved solely because their competitors couldn’t do it.

The interior is provocative, yet welcoming all at the same time. From the meaty three spoke wheel to the stubby gear lever, it involves you as soon as you settle in. There’s a handy ‘Race’ button conveniently next to the gear lever that is as taunting as a wet paint sign. You can’t help but touch it. And God help you when you do. Because all hell and its landlord breaks loose.

550 horsepower channels itself through to the twenty inch wheels via the most brilliant ZF 8 speed auto ever made. It only uses the torque converter on first gear, then disables it from there, giving you lightning shifts that would have been impressive in a 2008 F1 car. In fact, it is so good it could do to DSG what MP3 did to CD. Just saying.

Naught to a hundred happens in just 4.2 seconds. But it’s what happens after that where the real story begins. With an all-aluminium space frame, the F-Type dances through corners like something out of Weissach. There, I said it. Two words that have not appeared in the same sentence unless there was a punchline in the end: Jaguar have entered 911 territory.

And not only that, it is but a whisker away from the LFA’s Nurburgring time. 7:39  around the ring places it in 458 territory.

The only thing it loses along the way is manners. With an 80% stiffer frame, you give up the suppleness that Jags have always been known for. In fact, it is quite bad. Really bad. Oh yes, but it’s good to be bad.

About the Author

James Deakin
James Deakin is a multi-awarded automotive journalist located in Manila, Philippines. He has a weekly column in the Philippine STAR's motoring section, is a motoring corespondent for CNN Philippines and is the host of the Philippine motoring television show Drive, which airs every Sunday night at 10pm on CNN Philippines.